


Whispers of Words Left Unsaid

by Fluffykitty9000



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Character Development, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Regret, Strained Friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:13:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16050533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffykitty9000/pseuds/Fluffykitty9000
Summary: Tord could always remember the first thing Edd had said to him, "Are you from Canada-a-a? You has a weird voice?", he could remember how the other boy had smiled at him innocently afterwords with no ill intent. That was the start of his everything, and the end. He kept telling himself to not get attached, to stop getting so close, but he didn't listen. And now he did not only have to pay with his arm and his eye, it seems the green hoodied boy was also slowly taking his sanity.





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Eddsworld or any of the characters they all belong to Edd. Please be respectful to others even if you don't like my work or the ships. Hope you enjoy <3 :D

Tord remembered a lot about his childhood. He could remember the first time he was able to pronounce the word scissors. He could remember when he finally finished a chapter book for the first time that was in English. He could also remember when his father walked out on him and his mother. That was the first person to leave him, but he was not the last. He could remember how his mother sobbed, how she yelled at him blaming him for it all. He could also remember the week later when she came into his room crying and apologizing.

Soon after that his mother moved them to Britain, she couldn't stand living in Norway anymore without her love. The loss of his father was hard enough on the 7 year old, but leaving behind all his friends and having to learn a new language, which he could only say where is the bathroom and Hello in, made it even harder. To make him feel better his mother gave him a dog, which he named Vidar, which bought him some happiness.

The first day of grade two made the small joys of getting a new puppy not as effective. Most people knew each other from grade one and kindergarten which made him stand out even more than his poor English, accent, and the horn like pieces of hair that wouldn't stay down naturally. So the poor boy awkwardly shuffled into his classroom, getting weird looks and whispers. He uncomfortably fiddled with his grey sleeve of his long sleeve that was under his red shirt as he tried to calm himself down.

Fortunately he had moved in the summer which meant that he didn't have to introduce himself alone. He was in the second row next to the door to the classroom so there was only 8 kids that introduced themselves before him. "Hallo, our-MY... my is name- my name's-s-s T-Tord!" he remembered stuttering out in a loud voice trying to make sense of the foreign language. His face was a dark shade of red as he tried to ignore some of the muffled laughter from behind him.

After they had introduced themselves they had gym. Which meant another embarrassing introduction by him and having no one to hang out with for free play. Well that was until a boy wearing a green shirt came up to him with a short guy wearing a yellow shirt and overalls carrying a teddy timidly standing behind him. "Are you from Canada-a-a? You has a weird voice?" Tord froze, unsure what to say. The boy was looking at him so innocently that he didn't know if it was an insult or an actual question. "I am of Norway." Tord said passively as he nervously looked from one boy to the other.

"I don't know where that is but cool! I'm Edd in case you forgot, and this is Tom!" the boy known as 'Edd' smiled at him somehow wider, the band aid on his left cheek stretching from the width. "Do you wanna play with us? Tom sucks at tag, he's too slow!" "Heyyyy!" mumbled the other boy. Speaking of the other boy, Tord just noticed now that he wasn't behind Edd that he had black eyes. Was that normal? Tord nodded to Edd. "Great! Your it!" Edd announced laughing as he began to run. Tord smiled a small smile before chasing after the two.

The next thing he could remember besides all the fun games they played was grade 5, when the new kid 'Matt' came to their homeroom. Matt wasn't from any foreign country like Tord he had just switched neighborhoods for some reason. Matt into their little group easily he was an extrovert like Edd and they got along very well. He also fit in with his other peers better than Tord had ever had and ever would.

Tord was still the odd one, his thick accent wasn't becoming more British and his 'horns' weren't disappearing anytime soon. Perfect things for people to pic on make fun of and gossip about, Tord didn't give them much thought though. Middle school was one of the better years for him, his best years.

It started in grade 7, his dog ran away. The next person to leave him, he never came back despite how many times his mom told him to be patient. He became more snappy after that, not having anyone to wind down and cuddle with anymore. That's where his 'rivalry' with Tom started. One day he was extremely annoyed and ended up yelling at Edd. He can't remember the things he said, maybe selective amnesia, but he does know it was hurtful because Tom held it against him.

That was the first thing they argued about, however soon many things blossomed from it. Sly remarks and curses were directed at each other often, causing both Edd and Matt to be annoyed constantly that they couldn't even watch a movie without the two arguing. Soon the hatred between the two became natural and it was all they new, being natural to insult the other whenever they could. And as the got older it even lead to fist fights.

Tord could remember it all. May it be a blessing or a curse, however at times like this when he is falling out of the sky in a giant robot he wished he could forget.


	2. What begins must end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord could always remember the first thing Edd had said to him, "Are you from Canada-a-a? You has a weird voice?", he could remember how the other boy had smiled at him innocently afterwords with no ill intent. That was the start of his everything, and the end. He kept telling himself to not get attached, to stop getting so close, but he didn't listen. And now he did not only have to pay with his arm and his eye, it seems the green hoodied boy was also slowly taking his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Eddsworld or any of the characters they all belong to Edd. Please be respectful to others even if you don't like my work or the ships. Hope you enjoy <3 :D

Tord could always remember those who left and those who stayed. But usually the staying didn't last long before they decided to leave. They always left without fail. Was it him? Was it really his fault like his mom had said that clear night when his father left? Anytime he tried to think of why they left there was only one answer he ever agreed with, him.

Edd, Matt, and Tom weren't his only friends throughout his adolescence. Around the time that he first fought with Tom he began hanging out with another group because he was angry a himself. This group consisted of three guys and one girl, all 4 the punks of the schools. This was also around the time he began wearing a coat over his classic red hoodie, a change inspired by his new friends.

Tord found himself skipping the classes that he had with his old friends to go outback and smoke. His first smoke was with these kids and it seemed to catch and stay even after the friendship was done. He didn't sit with Edd, Matt, and Tom anymore at lunch and wouldn't even talk to them. Well, that was until Tom cornered him one time he was in the bathroom. The shorter boy began yelling at him, the fact class had already started long forgotten. The boy questioned him, why was he ignoring them, why was he acting like this, what did they do.

Tord could remember the tears he made his friend shed. He could also remember how after the yelling was done he just pushed pass him and left to go hang with his new friends. He wished he had realized that his true friends weren't the kids he smoked with, but the ones who were crying because they thought they did something wrong. But he didn't, he was too stupid to realize that he was with the wrong people, to realize that he wanted to stay with his old friends, to realize that every time he was laughing at the dirty jokes and insults thrown at other kids he was forcing himself.

He did realize one day, but it took them leaving for him to realize.

They were going to steal stuff from a store. What you may ask? Alcohol, cigars, and porn movies. Nothing too big, well that was until the others decided to try and steal a gun. Tord said that it was a bad idea but they just called him a p***y and should man up. So in an attempt to impress his friends he grabbed then gun and sprinted. The others yelled laughing saying that he was a 'boss' and will be getting the Smirnoff they had stolen.

It was going smoothly.. until they heard the sirens. Curses were spit out as they ran down an ally to try and escape. And of course, the ally was a dead end. Well, more like the rest of the ally was blocked of by a tall wooden fence. One by one they helped each other over the fence until Tord was the last one. He handed them the gun then called for them to pull him up. He waited, but no one reached down for him. He began frantically calling, the sirens getting closer, but no one came.

The police car blocked the entrance to the ally and an officer came out with a gun. Tord turned around with tears in his eyes and put his hands up, getting on his knees.

He was taken to the station and his mother was called. Tord remembered the agonizing wait for his mother to get to the station, knowing the lecture he would be getting when she finally got there. He could remember the drive home as she yelled at him, telling him how she provided for him, worked all day and night and he thanks her with this. He remembered how he grounded him from their crappy tv and from going out with friends for a year.

He also received a week suspension from school, not once did his 'friends' call him or visit or explain why they abandoned him. After the week was over he returned to school, everyone making sure they kept 10 feet distance from him, whispering and gossiping about him when they knew he could hear. After a while of searching him found his 'friends' and approached them, asking why they had done that and that he didn't rat them out like they had promised at the beginning of their theft.

They just ignored him and left. Tord remembered spending that morning in the bathroom, silently crying. Why did everyone leave? It was him wasn't it, it had to be. Why else would everyone leave him?

At lunch he finally cleaned himself up and left the bathroom. He made his way through the crowd with his hood up, trying to find somewhere to sit. He finally found a table next to the trash that was covered in old garbage and sticky substances. He sat himself down and ate his lunch, an apple. Some things were thrown at him and some remarks were yelled but he just ignored them, using one hand to play with a coin that was in his pocket to keep himself calm.

His days went similar for the next week, sitting in the back of class, no one sitting near him, then spending his lunch alone and getting words and the occasionally trash thrown at him. He was at an all time low, alone at school and at home. That was until someone sat across from him one day. He glanced up and froze, Edd sat in front of him, a nervous smile upon his face.

"E-Edd?" he whispered in disbelief. "You know, you can sit with us if you want. We all miss you." Tord looked at him wide eyed. He was joking right? He couldn't be serious right. Edd then stood up and went back to his table. Tord spent the rest of that day in confusion that Edd had forgiven him.

The next day when he came in the lunch room he turned to go towards his new table before stopping and turning around and sitting down at his old table, empty at the moment. The three walked in together laughing before stopping when they saw him. Tord made nervous eye contact before Edd smiled widely and sat next to him, telling him a story about how Matt put his clarinet cork grease on his lips, thinking it was lip balm.

Just like old times.  
\--  
Tord could still not believe that Edd had forgiven him for yelling at him and ignoring them for months so easily. How could Edd forgive him like that?

As Tord sat on the hill overlooking his old house that was now in rubles, his right side feeling like it was on fire, wrapped tightly in bandages blood soaking through, he remembered that moment of forgiveness. He wondered if Edd would forgive him for this like last time...

 

 

Ha, fat chance.


	3. The burn of alcohol in my throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord could always remember the first thing Edd had said to him, "Are you from Canada-a-a? You has a weird voice?", he could remember how the other boy had smiled at him innocently afterwords with no ill intent. That was the start of his everything, and the end. He kept telling himself to not get attached, to stop getting so close, but he didn't listen. And now he did not only have to pay with his arm and his eye, it seems the green hoodied boy was also slowly taking his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Eddsworld or any of the characters they all belong to Edd. Please be respectful to others even if you don't like my work or the ships. Hope you enjoy <3 :D
> 
> Sorry for the wait ya'll :P <3

Tord could remember the days before Tom's breath was always laced with the stench of alcohol, the days before he had ever gotten anywhere near the liquid. It all started at a party in their first year of high school. As much as the group of friends denied it, they all deep down wanted to be cool like others and 'fit in', this common desire that comes with adolescence led to them foolishly deciding to go to a party that the whole school was invited to.

The four had spent the week before it excited, glad that something like this was happening to them in high school, this had never happened in middle school. So the morning of the party was met with much eagerness, so much so that all four could feel it coming from each other but refused to comment on it because they were 'grown ups' now.

When the party did finally come around it was faced with much enthusiasm and anxiety for the four as they knocked on the door. Tord could remember being one of the more nervous ones for this social gathering, there would be so many people he didn't know and there was so many risks that came from that. Someone could drug him, someone could take him to a room and beat him up, he knew they were far fetched, but after the incident with his 4 'friends' his anxiety had increased tenfold. 

Tord could also remember that this party had alcohol, lots of it. This was something new to them, they had never tried the drink, nor had they had the chance to. And of course because they were teenagers this lead to them sitting on a couch with 4 red solo cups in front of them, a strong smelling liquid in it. They all looked at each other nervously, who was going to do it? Tord decided to speak up but was rudely interrupted by Tom, "Maybe we shouldn-" "F**K IT!" Tom downed his cup quickly his face turning to one of disgust afterwords.

"Holy heck dude!" Edd said in disbelief. The three of them stared wide eyed at the black eyed man, had that really just happened? Tord of course not wanting to be showed up by Tom shakily picked up his drink and downed it also. The alcohol burned his throat painfully, his throat clenching painfully at the unwanted taste. Tord slammed his cup on the table glaring at Tom. "O ya!" Tom yelled annoyed before grabbing both Matt and Edd's drinks and drinking them quickly.

Tord became uncomfortable at the amount of alcohol that Tom was in taking, if he kept going he would be extremely drunk if he wasn't already. "Tom m-maybe you should-" Tom cut him off by yelling a f**k you and jumping up to get more alcohol. Edd, Matt, and Tord looked at each other nervously, all concerned for Tom. Edd and Matt stood up, "We're gonna go find him, k?" Tord nodded at Matt and Edd, Tom was more hostile in his drunken state and him going would only increase that anger.

Tord sat on the sofa awkwardly for a few minuets before he decided he was tired of getting weird looks and stood up to go outside. Once he was free of the human mosh pit and in cool air he felt much better. His throat still burned a bit from the drink he had a little while ago, he rubbed his neck to simulate some sort of relief. That was until he felt a burst of pain on his chin that sent him to the ground. It took Tord a few seconds to regain himself and see who his attacker was.

He only got a second to see black eyes before a bottle was smashed over his head. Tord's world went black for moments, in those moments someone was on top of him and punching him. He could barely breathe, everything hurt and he could feel warm liquid running through his hair that he new was blood. Next thing he knew the weight was off of him and he could here yelling and someone frantically calling his name.

He couldn't remember much after that. The next thing he could remember was sitting in a hospital bed, his head wrapped in bandages. Tom had given him a concussion, a very bruised face, a broken nose, and a few cuts from the glass, one very deep one on his right cheek. He was allowed to leave that day, however his mother had to take a week off of work to care for him. When Tord got home he had a barrage of texts from both Edd and Matt. Tord was too tired for this and ignored them and went to bed.

He didn't respond to them for the next week, spending most of it in his bed. However after the week was up he was sent back to school and met with Matt and Edd freaking out and asking him if he is ok. And of course this was also the day that Tom was off his suspension. Tom stopped in front of Tord causing both Matt and Edd to go silent. "H-hi?" Tord asked nervously. "Sorry that I F**ked up your face F**kface." Tom muttered gruffly before leaving quickly.

Tord took it as some sort of apology and smiled lightly, he missed the days when they wouldn't fight.  
\---  
Tord could still remembered the bitter taste of the alcohol he tasted that night, and now as he took a swing of the whisky, trying to make the pain in his right arm decrease as they rode back slowly to the Red Base the taste didn't seem as bad. He looked down tiredly at the bloody bandages, looks like Tom had sent him to the hospital another time. Tord chuckled sadly at this, he shouldn't be going to the hospital ward right now, he should be dead.

Tord should have died in that crash, but he didn't and now he had to suffer for it. He wished he had, but he guesses this is some form of punishment for the many sins he had committed. Tord let out a sigh before putting the cap on the drink, he didn't deserve relief, he deserved punishment.


	4. The empty bed I lay upon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord could always remember the first thing Edd had said to him, "Are you from Canada-a-a? You has a weird voice?", he could remember how the other boy had smiled at him innocently afterwords with no ill intent. That was the start of his everything, and the end. He kept telling himself to not get attached, to stop getting so close, but he didn't listen. And now he did not only have to pay with his arm and his eye, it seems the green hoodied boy was also slowly taking his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Eddsworld or any of the characters they all belong to Edd. Please be respectful to others even if you don't like my work or the ships. Hope you enjoy <3 :D

Tord could remember the day that Edd had suggested that the four of them live together after graduation. He could remember the day that the four of them crammed into Edd's small car and went for a drive to see what they could afford and what they wanted. He could remember the next day when they went out for a second time that they found the house with the red roof that Tord could never forget. The house that was now in rubble. He could remember the green grass and fenced off backyard that held so many memories even a goldfish could remember it.

Tord could remember the old red couch they had found on the side of the road with the sign take me on it. He could remember the block like tv that they had watched many programs on on said couch. Tord could remember the orange walls that the living room had, he could remember how Edd insisted that they have that colour in that room because it matched the couches in his mind. We didn't argue with him because the whole house thing was his idea. 

Tord could remember the pictures that filled up the walls over the years, he could remember every inch of that house, and he wished that it was still standing. Tord found that the bandages around his chests restricted his breathing more than the pain did. The room he was laying in was dark, only able to make out the ceiling because of the slight light pollution that came from the moon that managed to leak through his cheap blinds. He couldn't sleep, not because of the pain of his missing right eye, or the pain his broken ribs that pierced through his core with every breath, or even the burn of his newly amputated stub of a right arm.

It was none of that. None of that could measure up to the pain that he was feeling inside him. No medication could fix this pain, because it wasn't physical. Tord laid on the hard white bed of the room he had in the Red Army base. He wished he was laying at home in the red sheets of his old room. He wished that he could feel the soft red carpet of the living room one last time, or see the smiling faces of his friends as they went on another one of their adventures. He wished he was anywhere else but sitting in this bed that he occupied yet was still empty.

The sheets that wrapped him were thick and long enough to cover him, but he still felt cold to the bone. He wished so many things were different, he wished his father stayed, he wished his dog stayed, he wished his friends from high school didn't abandon him, he wished that that night that Tom got drunk didn't prove how much Tom really did hate him, he wished he was home. But nothing was ever going to be the same again. He was never going to laugh along with Edd's shitty puns again. He was never going to go on another adventure with his friends. He was never going have another fight with Tom. He was never going to wake up another morning in the house that held so many memories.

Because he had ruined that. He had taken everything he had and destroyed it. He destroyed his friends trust. He destroyed his friendship. He destroyed his friends house that held so many good memories. He ruined everything like always. He ruined this just like how he ruined his parents marriage, his dogs life, his old friends fun, and his friends lives. God why did he have to ruin everything?

Tord pushed himself up with his good arm and leaned against the cold wall next to his bed. He was so scared that someone would use his weaknesses that he ended up destroying it himself, and now he was empty. He was so scared that his enemies would hurt Edd and Tom and Matt. He was so scared that they'd kill them, that they'd torture them, that they'd use them to get to him. That they'd hate him and leave him like the others did that he left them. But that wasn't enough no, he knew leaving them wouldn't keep them safe or him. He'd have to destroy all his ties with them.

But did he? Why couldn't he have just lived a happy life with his friends instead of running an army? Why did he have to be so power hungry? Tord could never take back the words he said that day, or the destruction he cause, and because of that Tord cried. He cried for the first time since he left that house with the red roof to join the army. And God did it hurt.


	5. The sting of cold metal that I touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord could always remember the first thing Edd had said to him, "Are you from Canada-a-a? You has a weird voice?", he could remember how the other boy had smiled at him innocently afterwords with no ill intent. That was the start of his everything, and the end. He kept telling himself to not get attached, to stop getting so close, but he didn't listen. And now he did not only have to pay with his arm and his eye, it seems the green hoodied boy was also slowly taking his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Eddsworld or any of the characters they all belong to Edd. Please be respectful to others even if you don't like my work or the ships. Hope you enjoy <3 :D

Tord could remember when he got his dormant hand amputated. He could remember how he had insisted that they use no pain medication, he didn't deserve it. He guessed it was sort of punishment on himself for what happened with his friends, but he could barely remember the train of thought he had that day, it is so blurred. However, now as his hands ran over the smooth metal of his new arm he had no regrets like Paul and Patryk had thought he'd would. If he had waited for the pain killers to get here it would have been another week before they could do the procedure, but now in that time that he would have had to wait he has became more used to the new body part.

Tord sat atop the building his eye glazed over with an emotion he ~~didn't want to~~  couldn't quite place. His gray eye rested on three people who sat on a couch watching a movie. One of them wore a green hoodie, the other green, and the last one purple- It seems Matt had changed his outfit-. Tord had to check on them after all that has happened, it seems they are doing fine after the whole robot incident. Why did that cause a shot of pain in his chest? Tord shook his bandaged head lightly before standing up from his viewing spot, he had been sitting there for long enough, they were clearly fine.

It hurt Tord at that, to know that his absence meant so little to his friends. He let out a shaky chuckle at this, he already new people were fine without him, why did he have to come here to make sure of that? Why had he given himself that sliver of hope that they actually missed him. He made his way down the building stairwell, refusing to acknowledge the wetness around his eyes. He reused to acknowledge the ache in his chest. He refused to acknowledge the effort it took to not break down. He didn't need to spend time on that, no one cares about it anyway.

The sensation of his metal arm touching the door to the exit was weird. He couldn't feel the arm touching the door but he could control the arm touching the door. Upon opening the door his eyes landed on the two men he knew well leaning against the red car one of them with a lit cigarette in their mouth. He nodded to them which they understood quickly and went to enter the car, Paul stamping out his cigarette beforehand-they couldn't smoke inside the rental-. Tord silently entered the back of the car, not bothering to wear his eat belt as the car began to exit the underground parking lot.

Tord glanced out the tinted window as they drove in silence, his eyes wandering blankly as he focused on nothing. His hand as if on habit moved up and began to rub the metal of his arm. It was cold under the warmth of his finger tips, sending a sensation of discomfort to his brain, something his right arm could no longer do. His fingers began slowly taking in every curve and crack in his arm. He had picked up the habit of running his hands on his new limb pretty soon after he had gotten it, taking in every bit of it for some unknown reason.

His thoughts wandered freely at his new found calmness. The sound of the car wheels on smooth pavement always calmed him down for some reason, it had been that way since he was a child. He thoughts lead to the elephant in the room, the three sitting on the couch he had been watching only shortly before. His mind began to do a something similar to what his hands were doing, taking in every detail. He began going over every word he could remember saying to them, every fun adventure they went on, every argument he had with them.

He then took in their expressions with each one of these interactions. Each one of the smiles, each one of the laughs, each one of the tears. With Tom the arguments stacked up high, had they really been this much at each others throats? This caused an uneasy feeling in his chest he didn't like. Why did he have to let his pride get in the way of fixing their relationship. He could remember the hate that the blue hoodied boy held in his gaze as he stared down at Tord- somehow Tom had grown quite a bit in the time Tord was gone and was now towering over him, he was now the shortest-.  
  
It hurt to think of Tom. It hurt to think of Edd. It hurt to think of Matt. It hurt the think of the red roofed house. It hurt to think of the things he could remember. It hurt to do anything these days. Maybe it was because everyone could love without him. Maybe it was because he had lost his eye, arm, and most of the hearing in his right ear. Maybe it was because he had lost his robot. But the thing that kept popping into his head when he thought about why it hurt was nothing like those other things.  
  
It hurt because the one that had left this time was him.


End file.
